Turning 35 - so old and so young

I turn 35 tomorrow and I don't know what to think.  Lori was wonderful today and made me the german birthday dinner I grew up with, of bratwurst and sauerkraut, and black forest cake.  I got a card from the kids (which included a note that Katie also loves our neighbors and day care friends, Addison/Zak/Jen/Chloe (the dog).  Lori also got me a iphone protector and a skull cap for cold days when I ride my bike to work.  She made a leg strap to keep my pant legs out of the chain - it has velcro and cars on it so Tyler would surely love it.

I've always looked at  my age a a percentage of my life left.  Maybe it gives me perspective.  But I think, I'm 35 and I expect to live to 90-ish (with advances in heathcare, and some pretty good genes in my family).  So when I was 30, I was 33% through, and still had 66% left.  That, I figured, was quite a lot.  I had a lot to look forward to, kids and grandkids.

But for some reason this 35th birthday has me a little uneasy, and I don't know why exactly.  They say it is typical for decades and half decades to be the most "soul searching" birthday.  I have never been bothered by a birthday before this one, so its the only "hard" birthday I've ever had.

I've been in the mood to buy stock, or invest in real estate business, or start my own business or something the last few days.  I've wondered if it is best to pay down my mortgage, or instead to go into debt (leverage) an investment.

the good thing about being 35, is that I'm so wise and experienced that I know this is a fleeting sensation of dread/fear.  The problem with being 35 is that I'm old and need to get something done before I get too much older.

But at the end of the day, I love my wife, I have fabulous kids which seem to obey me, and like to disobey Lori, and I am stable.  I hope to provide for my kids into the next generation as my father is planning to do for me.  I think that is what I want most in life now - to give my daughter a solid testimony, to turn my son into a service and priesthood oriented person, to love my wife into the next life, and to continue the financial stability legacy that my father has started.

I focus so much on the financial legacy in my thoughts - perhaps that is because it is the thing that I'm unsure of - while the church and testimony items I feel hopeful of - that I have a testimony and know what I must do to pass on my love of the gospel.  Perhaps I should worry less about the financial legacy and let the day take care of itself.

Photos are the best - this one was taken christmas morning.  Tyler looks even more like me now, with the passing of the last 3 months - poor kid :(

Thank you all for your friendship and comments about my birthday.  Not fishing at all.  I just don't want to not reply to any well wishes and offend anybody.  I love you all.